(where Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy try to fool their wives and sneak off to a convention held by their lodge, the "Sons of the Desert")
Ollie : Now isn't this nice? Stan : It sure is. We're just like two peas in a pot.
Ollie : To catch a Hardy they've got to get up very early in the morning. Stan : What time? Ollie : Oh about half past - "What time." Hmph.
Stan : I've certainly got to hand it to you, Ollie. Ollie : For what? Stan : Well for the meticulous care with which you have executed your finely formulated machinations in extricating us from this devastating dilemma. Ollie : Get in bed. Stan : What? Ollie : Get in bed. "Meticulous." Hmph.
Ollie : Where is she? Stan : Maybe she went to the mountains. Ollie : I'll bet she did. You know she makes me sick. Stan : Well if she didn't go to the mountains, then Mohammad would have to come here.
Ollie : Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into.
Lottie : Have you anything else to say? Ollie : Why no. That's all there is. There isn't anymore. Is there Stanley? Stan : No, that's our story and we're stuck with it. In it.
Lottie : You're going to Honolulu if you have to go alone. Ollie : If I have to go to Honolulu alone
[Points to Stan ] Ollie : He's going with me.
Ollie : What did Betty say? Stan : Betty said that honesty was the best politics.
Ollie : Now why did you hire a veterinarian? Stan : I didn't think his religion would make any difference.
Ollie : Why didn't you want to take the oath? Stan : I was afraid. Ollie : Of what? Stan : I was afraid that if I took the oath, that my wife wouldn't let me go. And the Exhausted Ruler said that if... you took an oath, it would have to be broken for... generations and... centuries of... hundreds of years and my wife would let... Ollie : Do you have to ask your wife everything? Stan : Well if I didn't ask her, I wouldn't know what she wanted me to do. Ollie : Why don't you pattern your life after mine? I go places and do things and *then* tell my wife. Every man should be the king in his own castle. Ollie : I go places and do things, and then *then* tell my wife.
[on the telephone ]
Lottie : Charley tells me you're from Los Angeles. What part? Ollie : All of me.
Betty : Stanley wouldn't dare lie to me. I hate to think what would happen if he ever did.
Stan : I may not be king of my castle, but I certainly wouldn't allow my wife to wear any pants. I'd like to see my old woman throwing things. It's disgraceful. Never heard of such goings off. On. If my old ball and chain ever talked to me... If she even dared... You know what I'd say? Ollie : What? Stan : I'd say...
[Sees Betty ] Stan : Hello, honey. I...
[Double takes ]
Stan : If you don't be careful, she's going to get the upper hand of you.
Lottie : I'll show you, you Son of a Desert! Go to a convention on me, ha! ha!
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