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Clean Funny Jokes - Clown Jokes - Funny movie quotes from The Marx Brothers' "Animal Crackers"

Groucho Marx : How much would you charge to run into an open manhole?
Chico Marx : Just the cover charge.
Groucho Marx : Well, drop in sometime.
Chico Marx : Sewer.
Groucho Marx : Well, we cleaned that up pretty well.

Groucho Marx : I used to know a fellow who looked exactly like you by the name of Emanuel Ravelli. Are you his brother?
Chico Marx : I am Emanuel Ravelli.
Groucho Marx : You're Emanuel Ravelli?
Chico Marx : I am Emanuel Ravelli.
Groucho Marx : Well, no wonder you look like him. But I still insist there is a resemblance.
Chico Marx (directly to camera): Heh, heh, he thinks I look alike.

Groucho Marx : You left out a hoongadoonga. The most important one, too.

(to Margaret Dumont and Kathryn Reece)
Margaret Dumont : All of us?
Groucho Marx : All of us.
Margaret Dumont : Why, that's bigamy.
Groucho Marx : Yes, and it's big of me too.

Margaret Dumont : Captain, this leaves me speechless.
Groucho Marx : Well, see that you remain that way.

Groucho Marx : Africa is God's country, and he can have it.

Groucho Marx : Take the marriage problem. Take the foreign problem. Take Abyssinia. Say you take Abyssinia and I'll take a hot fudge sundae on rye bread.

Groucho Marx : One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.

Groucho Marx : You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way.

Groucho Marx : Signore Ravelli's first selection will be "Somewhere My Love Lies Sleeping" with a male chorus.

Groucho Marx : Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... Now you tell me what you know.

(Dictating a letter) Groucho Marx : Gentlemen... question mark.

Groucho Marx : You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you.

Groucho Marx : Have you met Conductor Hennessey?
Inspector Hennessey : Inspector.
Groucho Marx : *You* inspect her.

(Chico is playing the piano) Groucho Marx : When you come near a song let me know.

Groucho Marx : Living with your folks... living with your folks... the beginning of the end... drab, dead yesterdays shutting out beautiful tomorrows... hideous, stumbling footsteps creaking along the misty corridors of time... and in those corridors I see figures... straaange figures... weeeird figures: Steel 186, Anaconda 74, American Can 138.

Groucho Marx : Pardon me while I have a strange interlude.

(singing) Groucho Marx : Tell me, what do you think of the traffic problem? What do you think of the marriage problem? What do you think of at night when you go to bed, you beast?