Advantages to being a woman

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Women got off the Titanic first.
Women get to flirt with technical support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
Their boyfriend’s clothes make them look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in theirs.
Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
Women can cry and get off speeding tickets.
Taxis stop for women.
Men die earlier, so women get to cash in on the life insurance.
Women don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
New lipstick gives women a whole new lease on life.
Women don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.
If women forget to shave, no one has to know.
Women can congratulate their team-mate without ever touching her butt.
If women have a zit, they know how to conceal it.
If a woman is dumb, some people will find it cute.
Women have the ability to dress ourselves.
If a woman marries someone 20 years younger, they’re aware that they will look like an idiot.
Their friends won’t think them weird if women ask whether there’s spinach in their teeth.
There are times when chocolate really can solve all their problems.
Women will never regret piercing their ears.
Women can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
Women know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
Women have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.