Funny Jokes - How to diet and gain weight
BREAKFAST:
- 1/2 grapefruit
- 1 slice whole wheat toast
- 8 oz skim milk
LUNCH:
- 4 oz lean Broiled chicken breast
- 1 cup steamed zucchini
- 1 Oreo Cookie
- Herb tea
MID-AFTERNOON SNACK:
- Rest of package of Oreos
- 1 qt. rocky road ice cream
- 1 jar hot fudge
DINNER:
- 2 loaves garlic bread
- Large pepperoni & mushroom pizza Large pitcher caffienated soda (any brand)
- 3 Milky Way bars
- Entire Sara Lee cheesecake - direct from freezer.
DIET TIPS
- If no one sees you eat it --- it has no calories.
- If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar they cancel each other out.
- When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount.
- Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts such as: Hot Chocolate, Brandy, Toast and Sarah Lee cheesecake.
- If YOU fatten up EVERYONE ELSE around you--then YOU look thinner.
- Movie related foods don't count because they are simply part of the entire entertainment experience and not part of one's personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, popcorn with extra butter, and Junior Mints.
Overall rating:
1 have voted so far
Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/12 at 06:39 PM
Articles • Jokes • Dieting jokes • (0) Comments • (0) Trackbacks • Permalink • View blog reactions
Articles • Jokes • Dieting jokes • (0) Comments • (0) Trackbacks • Permalink • View blog reactions
Most recent articles
- Varsity Drag - song lyrics
- There’s no business like show business - song lyrics
- Lucy Has Her Eyes Examined - I Love Lucy
- Thanksgiving - a history
- Call from Nebraska reporter
- I need to learn Spanish
- Night Owls - Laurel and Hardy
- Homer / Don Burda - last walkaround
- Don Burda, Homer the happy hobo - inducted into the Clown Hall of Fame
- Don Burda / Homer in poor health
- Tithe skit
- Lucy’s mother writes her a letter
- Warm ups and cool downs at clown performances
- Ricky Watches the Baby - I Love Lucy
- The Great Diamond Robbery | Red Skelton | Cara Williams
Most popular articles
- Charlie Chaplin biography
- Famous Clowns
- How do I start Clowning? Clown make-up essentials
- Free clown skits
- Red Skelton biography
- Emmett Kelly biography
- Lyrics to Smile, composed by Charlie Chaplin
- The unusual history of Bozo the Clown
- Red Skelton's commentary on the Pledge of Allegiance
- Lyrics to "Lydia the Tatooed Lady" sung by Groucho Marx
| DONATIONS Keep clown-ministry.com alive: Mail checks, money orders, cash to: or CLICK PayPal logo to donate! |
Tom Raymond 4501 Sentinel Pass Fitchburg, WI 53711 USA |
|
clown-ministry home | articles | history | skits | miscellaneous | resources | site map | privacy policy
