A list of simple rules for the dogs out there, on how to behave during your humans’ Christmas season
- Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.
- They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.
- Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.
- They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know:
- Don’t pee on the tree
- Don’t drink water in the container that holds the tree
- Mind your tail when you are near the tree
- If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don’t rip them open
- Don’t chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree
- Don’t pee on the tree
- Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:
- Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans
- Don’t eat off the buffet table
- Beg for goodies subtly
- Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa
- Don’t drink out of glasses that are left within your reach
- Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans
- Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important:
- Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people’s houses. (4a is particularly important)
- Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house
- Tolerate children
- Turn on your charm big time
- Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people’s houses. (4a is particularly important)
- A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. Don’t bite him!!
Overall rating:




0 have voted so far
Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 03/22 at 02:43 AM
Articles • Jokes • Animal jokes • (0) Comments • (0) Trackbacks • Permalink • View blog reactions
Articles • Jokes • Animal jokes • (0) Comments • (0) Trackbacks • Permalink • View blog reactions
Most recent articles
- Laurel and Hardy marathon on Turner Classic Movies
- Warm ups and cool downs at clown performances
- Ricky Watches the Baby - I Love Lucy
- The Great Diamond Robbery | Red Skelton | Cara Williams
- Professional Clown foils burglary
- Come celebrate Red Skelton’s Birthday on July 18th at Clown Jam!
- Ship Ahoy | Red Skelton | Eleanor Powell
- Abbott and Costello classic comedy baseball jersey - WHO - 1
- Horses Collars - the Three Stooges
- Larry Harmon biography
- Red Skelton - America’s Favorite Funnyman
- Red Skelton Unreleased
- Wee Wee Monsieur - the Three Stooges
- Back to the Woods - the Three Stooges
- Meet the Chez Family - free clown skit
Most popular articles
- Charlie Chaplin biography
- Famous Clowns
- How do I start Clowning? Clown make-up essentials
- Free clown skits
- Red Skelton biography
- Emmett Kelly biography
- Lyrics to Smile, composed by Charlie Chaplin
- The unusual history of Bozo the Clown
- Red Skelton's commentary on the Pledge of Allegiance
- Lyrics to "Lydia the Tatooed Lady" sung by Groucho Marx
| DONATIONS Keep clown-ministry.com alive: Mail checks, money orders, cash to: or CLICK PayPal logo to donate! |
Tom Raymond 4501 Sentinel Pass Fitchburg, WI 53711 USA |
clown-ministry home | articles | history | skits | miscellaneous | resources | site map | privacy policy

