Lyrics to ‘Dr. Hackenbush’ song by Groucho Marx, written for ‘A Day at the Races’

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Dr. Hackenbush was written as an introduction for Groucho Marx in the Marx Brothers film, A Day at the Races. The movie was running too long, however, and the sequence was never filmed, although it became a favorite with Groucho, and he eventually recorded them in 1951.

Song lyrics to Dr. Hackenbush

Lyrics and Music by Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby

Choir: So this is Doctor Hackenbush
the famous medical
You’re welcome, Doctor Hackenbush
Dr. Hackenbush (Groucho Marx): If that’s the case, I’ll go!
Choir: Oh no, you mustn’t go!
Dr. Hackenbush (Groucho Marx): Who said I mustn’t go?
The only reason that I came is so that I can go

Dr. Hackenbush (Groucho Marx): I’m Doctor Hackenbush
my medical standing’s very high
well anyways ladies and gentlemen
I am Doctor Hackenbush
Choir: He’s Doctor Hackenbush
Dr. Hackenbush (Groucho Marx): I’m Doctor Hackenbush
Dr. Hackenbush (Groucho Marx): As a matter of fact, to be exact
I’m Doctor Hackenbush

Girl I’m sure that they’d all like to hear
some facts about your great career
Dr. Hackenbush (Groucho Marx): Although my horn I hate to blow
there’s one thing that you ought to know

I’m Doctor Hackenbush
which all my friends will verify
well anyways ladies and gentlemen
I am Doctor Hackenbush
Choir: He’s Doctor Hackenbush
Dr. Hackenbush (Groucho Marx): I’m Doctor Hackenbush
Dr. Hackenbush (Groucho Marx): You never would guess, but nevertheless
I’m Doctor Hackenbu-u-u-u-sh

For ailments abdominal, my charges are nominal
Though I’m great for, I’ve a rate for tonsillectomy
sick and healthy, poor and wealthy, come direct to me
“Oooh, God bless you!” they yell
When I send them home well
But they never, no they never, send a cheque to me

I’ve won acclaim for curing ills, both in the North and South
You’ll find my name just like my pills in everybodys’ mouth
I’ve never lost a case
Choir: He’s never lost a case!
Dr. Hackenbush (Groucho Marx): I’ve lost a lot of patients but I’ve never lost a case!

My diagnosis never fails
I know just what to do
Whenever anybody ails
I’m sympathetic too
My heart within me melts
Choir: His heart within him melts
Dr. Hackenbush (Groucho Marx): No matter what I treat them for, they die from something else

When your nerves start to rock, put your faith in your doc
When you’re sick he will stick to the end
With the possible exception of your mo-o-other
A doctor’s a mans’ best friend
Choir: Yes! A doctor’s a mans’ best friend
Dr. Hackenbush (Groucho Marx): A doctor’s a mans’ best friend!
Oh-oh! A doctor’s a mans’ best friend!
Choir: A doctor is
Dr. Hackenbush (Groucho Marx): A doctor is a mans’ best friend

Right or wrong, wrong or right
Night and day, day and night
On his call you can always depend
With the possible exception of your mother and your father
and your uncles and your brothers
and your nephews and your nieces
and your sisters and your cousins
whom you number by the dozen
All A doctor’s a mans’ best friend!

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About the Author

Tom Raymond, aka. Raynbow the Clown, is a professional clown working out of Madison, Wisconsin, and is available for ministry events, conventions and conferences.

Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 04/22 at 09:10 PM
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