Excuses when caught falling asleep at work

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Excuses that you shouldn’t use when caught sleeping at work:

“They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
“This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.”
“Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper.”
“I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!”
“This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”
“I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance”
“Actually I was doing a “Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan"(SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.”
“I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?”
“Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”
“The coffee machine is broke....”
“Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.”
“Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!”
“Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!”
“I wasn’t sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without using my hands.”
“I was just reminiscing on when I was a kid and would wish on my birthday cake that I could work here.”
“Amen.”