funny movie quotes from “The Reluctant Astronaut” starring Don Knotts, Leslie Nielsen

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Funny movie quotes from ”The Reluctant Astronaut” starring Don Knotts

[as Mr. Spaceman, operating the Rocket Ride] Roy Fleming (Don Knotts): We are now passing over the Hawaiian Islands. Our flight plan will carry us to the recovery area 100 miles southeast of the Bahamas. We are starting our retro-rocket countdown: five, four, three, two, one, firing retro rockets!

[presses button making rocket sound]

Roy Fleming (Don Knotts): We will be touching down in twenty minutes.

[whispering] Mary: I have to go to the bathroom.

Roy Fleming (Don Knotts): We have just touched down!

[hands Roy a broom] Donelli: Here you are. Now in the mornings you sweep all locker area and boiler room. In the afternoons, you wet down and mop. Now the top of the lockers should be kept… clean at all times. They’l- be inspected by me personally daily at 1700 hours. now in the morning when you...

Roy Fleming (Don Knotts): Excuse me sir, uh, is this all sorta like, uh, part of the training program?

Donelli: What training program?

Roy Fleming (Don Knotts): You know, … [imitates rocket] space.

Donelli: THIS is your space: From there, to there, and I expect you to keep it clean Fleming! Now then...

Roy Fleming (Don Knotts): You mean, I-I-I’m a, I’m a janitor?

Donelli: Heheheheheheheeheh! Why of course not! My boy, you are a WB-1074: *apprentice* janitor!

Donelli: Fleming, you’ve been here two weeks now, and I dont think your mind has been on your work for one second!

Roy Fleming (Don Knotts): Uh, uhm, well to tell you the truth sir, my heart really isn’t in this.

Donelli: We are not interested in your heart, Fleming! We want your elbow grease!

[reading sign next to mock up] Rush: “Representation of Lunar Surface”

Buck Fleming: This here, is what your moon looks like.

Rush: Oh...

[steps up onto mock up] Plank: Take a picture of me standin’ on the moon!

Rush: Aw, that ain’t really the moon!

Plank: We don’t have to tell anybody.