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Funny movie quotes from No Census, No Feeling starring the Three Stooges - Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard

Moe: Are you married or happy?

Moe: Now, calm yourself. We’re census takers, madam. How old are you?
Larry: What address is this?
Lady having bridge party: One hundred and two.
Moe: You don’t look a day over eighty.
Lady having bridge party: Young man, I’m twenty-nine.
Moe: Oh, yeah?
Lady having bridge party: Well, how do I look?
Moe: Oh, you look like a million.
Larry: Ah, she can’t be that old. (Larry and Moe open her mouth and check her teeth.) Forty-three.
Moe: Fifty.
Larry: Forty-three!
Moe: Fifty!
Larry: Forty-three!
Moe: Fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, (mouth begins to move much faster) fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty…
Curly: Sooold American!

Curly: Roses are red, and how do you do? Drink four of these and woo, woo, woo, woo!

Larry: [after all three are unable to find anyone else to interview] Where is everybody?
Curly: Maybe it’s The Fourth of July.
Moe: The Fourth of July in October?
Curly: You never can tell… look what they did to Thanksgiving!

Moe: Boy, you got brains like Napoleon.
Larry: Napoleon’s dead.
Moe: I know it.