Half-Wits Holiday - the Three Stooges | clown ministry

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Half-Wits Holiday (1944) is a funny, yet bitter-sweet short film by the Three Stooges - Moe Howard, Larry Fine and the final performance by Curly Howard. Half-Wits Holiday is a remake of an earlier Three Stooges short film, Hoi Polloi. In Half-Wits Holiday, two college professors make a bet whether or not the Three Stooges can be turned into gentlemen. Highlights of the short film include the Three Stooges pantomiming eating soup as they attempt to learn manners (failing miserably), Moe having a discussion with a dinner guest about the sword of Damocles (a long-time favorite scene) at the climatic coming-out party, and Moe hitting Curly in the stomach, only to have stolen silverware fall out—a sight gag reminiscent of Harpo Marx. The film culminates in a massive pie fight, with Moe, Larry and various party guests throwing and receiving pies in the face.

Why are there no scenes of curly in the pie fight? Because, sadly, it was during the filming of Half-Wits Holiday that Curly Howard suffered from the stroke that necessitated his retirement from the screen. This is why, although Half-Wits Holiday is a very good Three Stooges short film, I always have mixed emotions while watching it. It is available on the DVD collection The Three Stooges - Nutty But Nice.

funny movie quotes from the Three Stooges in Half-Wits Holiday (1947)

Moe (Moe Howard): We are members of the Morons’ Union, local 6 and 7/8!

Prof. Quackenbush: How would you like to earn $1000 dollars?
Moe (Moe Howard): Who do we have to murder?
Prof. Quackenbush: It’s nothing like that. All you need to do is let me make gentlemen out of you.
Curly (Curly Howard): Oh please no! There hasn’t been a gentleman in our family for 50 generations!
Moe (Moe Howard): Quit bragging.

Prof. Sedletz: If I gave you a dollar, and your father gave you a dollar, what would you have?
Larry (Larry Fine) A dollar!
Prof. Sedletz: You don’t know your arithmetic!
Larry (Larry Fine) You don’t know my father!

Moe (Moe Howard): Babe, I’d like to cover you with furs and automobiles.
Lulu: Why, thank you.
Moe (Moe Howard): Mink! Skunk! Porcupine! Only the best for you!

Curly (Curly Howard): There’s a hair in my soup!
Moe (Moe Howard): That’s a crack in your plate.
Curly (Curly Howard): I never saw a crack go that way! [motions with his hands]
Moe (Moe Howard): That’s neither hair nor there.

Curly (Curly Howard): [reading] See the little deer. Does the little deer have any doe?
Larry (Larry Fine) Yeah, two buck!

Lulu: May I present Mrs. Smythe-Smythe?
Moe (Moe Howard): [to Smythe-Smythe] Very very happy happy.

[pie dangling from ceiling, unknown to Mrs. Smythe-Smythe]
Mrs. Smythe-Smythe: If you don’t tell me about this metamorphisis, I shall always feel as though I’ve missed something.
Moe (Moe Howard): Lady, if you don’t move, you won’t miss anything!
Mrs. Smythe-Smythe: Young man, what’s wrong? You act as though the sword of Damocles is hanging over your head!
Moe (Moe Howard): Lady, you must be psychic!
Mrs. Smythe-Smythe: What is wrong with that young man? [looks up, gets hit with pie]