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Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 andnoticed that the new program began making unexpected changesto the accounting software, severely limiting access towardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications that operatedflawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

No mention of this phenomenon was included in theproduct brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls manyother valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5,CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new,undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes thesystem. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 tofix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of limitedeffectiveness.

Can you help please ?!!!!

Jane

Dear Jane:

This is a very common problem women complain about, but ismostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgradefrom Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea thatBoyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package.

However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designedby its creator to run as few applications as possible.Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return toBoyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to dothis.

Hidden operating files within your system would causeBoyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained.It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the programfiles from the system, once installed.

Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I would suggest youread the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults(GPFs). This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretlyinstalled by the parent company as an integral part of theoperating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibilityfor ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. Toactivate this great feature enter the command “C:\ITHOUGHT YOU LOVED ME”

Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously whileentering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run theapplications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse cancreate additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOUmay have to give a C:\APOLOGIZE command before the systemwill return to normal operations. Overuse can also causeHusband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet,Beer 6.0.

Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 tocreate FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that arevery hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by followingthis tech tip!

Just remember, the system will run smoothly and take theblame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it canonly intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does havelimited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

Consider buying additional software to improveperformance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilitiescan really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly. Afterseveral years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar andyou will find many valuable embedded features such asFixesBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.

A final word of caution! Do NOT, under anycircumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not asupported application, and will cause selective shut down ofthe operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4and Hunting 5.2 or Golfing 2.3 until MotherInLaw 1.0 isuninstalled.

I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing toinstall Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you thebest of luck in coming years. “We trust you will learn tofully enjoy this product!

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