Abbott and Costello’s Lost in a Harem, starring Bud Abbott and Lou Costello

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Abbot and Costello - Lost in a Harem
Lost in a Harem is one of Abbott and Costello‘s best films, filmed at the MGM studios. The film has a vaudeville show stranded in the mythical city of Port Inferno somewhere in the East. Singer Hazel Moon (Marilyn Maxwell, a semi-regular on the Abbott and Costello radio show) gets a job at the Cafe of All Nations, and has the club owner hire the show’s prop men, Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello) and Pete Johnson (Bud Abbott) to put on their magic act. Abbott and Costello’s magic act, although funny, lands them in jail, giving them an excuse to do the Slowly I Turned routine, made famous by the Three Stooges. A deposed sheik offers to help them escape from jail in exchange for helping him overthrow the evil despot who stole his throne, Nimativ (Douglas Dumbrille). Nimativ, however, is able to hypnotize people, including Abbott and Costello - another hilarious bit. All turns out, the evil Nimatov is overthrown, and the romantic leads get married - everything happily every after.
In addition to a lot of very funny Abbott and Costello routines, there’s also several musical scenes with the Jimmy Dorsey orchestra (why are they in the desert? Doesn’t matter as long as they don’t intrude overmuch on the movie, which they don’t), singing by Marilyn Maxwell, and good comic interaction throughout.

Funny movie quotes from Lost in a Harem starring Abbott and Costello

The Derelict: Pokomoko! Slowly I turn, step by step…

Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Have you a reservation here?
Jailer and clerk: No.
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Then I have to take my business someplace else.
[he starts to leave but is restrained by guards]
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): I changed my mind. I’ll take the room.
Jailer and clerk: What’s your name?
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Harvey D. Garvey.
Jailer and clerk: Where born?
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Under a sink.
Jailer and clerk: How do you know?
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): I heard the water runnin’.

Peter Johnson (Bud Abbot): You love her?
[laughs derisively]
Peter Johnson (Bud Abbot): Oh, come on, you wouldn’t get to first base with a beautiful girl like that.
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Yes, I would.
Peter Johnson (Bud Abbot): Did you ever take a good look in the mirror?
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): No.
Peter Johnson (Bud Abbot): Why not?
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Why should I hurt my own feelings?
Peter Johnson (Bud Abbot): Never mind!

Prince Ramo: [from inside his jail cell] Don’t worry! I’ll get you out!
Peter Johnson (Bud Abbot): [being locked up in a nearby cell] Who’s gonna get YOU out?

Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Do I have to especially go now?
Peter Johnson (Bud Abbot): You just split an infinitive!
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Well, I mean that…
[feeling his own rear end]
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Does it show?

The Derelict: I know a secret passage that will take us out.
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Swell!
The Derelict: [to Harvey] Shhh!
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): [to Pete] Shhh!
Peter Johnson (Bud Abbot): [whispering] Go ahead.
The Derelict: Follow me.
Peter Johnson (Bud Abbot): Go ahead - follow him.
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Okay.
Peter Johnson (Bud Abbot): [impatiently] Go ahead.
The Derelict: Where are you taking me?

The Derelict: Quiet! People will think you’re crazy.
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Oh, and I suppose you’re all right?
The Derelict: Of course!
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Of course?
The Derelict: I have a brother who is crazy -
[screaming]
The Derelict: but I’m all right!
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): [gasping] Who told you?
The Derelict: My brother!
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): That does it, brother!

The Derelict: Gentleman… He called me a gentleman! Thank you.
The Derelict: [to Pete] Thank you.
Peter Johnson (Bud Abbot): That’s all right.
The Derelict: Those are the first kind words I’ve heard in years. You see i always haven;t been a derelict…
[pointing to Harvey]
The Derelict: like you!
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Hey, now, don’t call me those kind of bad names.
The Derelict: Would you like to hear my story?
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): No.
The Derelict: Very well, then I’ll tell it to you.

Peter Johnson (Bud Abbot): We’ve got to outsmart Uncle Nimativ. You go in and outwit him.
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Why should I go out with him? I’m afraid of that man!
Peter Johnson (Bud Abbot): Not to go out with him. Go in and outwit him.
Harvey Garvey (Lou Costello): Why should I go in and go out wth him? I mean, he don’t appeal to me!