One line Animal Christmas Jokes

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What do elephants sing at Christmas?

No-elephants No elephants...!
What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk?

Jingle smells!
What is white, lives at the north pole and runs around naked?

A polar bare!
What kind of pine has the sharpest needles?

A porcupine!
Why don’t penguins fly?

Because they’re too short to be pilots!
“Do you ever buy any Christmas Seals?”

“No, I wouldn’t know how to feed them.”
What is green, covered with tinsel and goes “ribbet ribbet”?

A mistle-"toad"!
What do wild animals sing at Christmastime?

Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way!
What is the best key to get at Christmas?

A turkey!
How do Chihuahua’s say Merry Christmas?

Fleas Navidog!
How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?

A merry Christmas to ewe!
What do you call a cat on a beach at Christmas?

Sandy Claws!
What kind of bird can write?

A PENguin!
Why do birds fly south in the winter?

Because it’s too far to walk!
Where do polar bears go to vote?

At the North Poll
What do sheep say to Santa?

Seasons bleatings!
What do you call a penguin wearing ear muffs?

Anything, he can’t hear you!
Who delivers Christmas presents to pets?

Santa Paws
What did Santa get when he crossed a woodpecker with kleenex?

Rapping paper!
What’s the most boring animal?

A polar bore!
What sort of insects love snow?

Mo-ski-toes!
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?

No you can have turkey like everyone else !
Who is never hungry at Christmas ?

The turkey - he’s always stuffed !
What bird has wings but cannot fly ?

Roast turkey !
Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?

Your teeth !
Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?

You get tinsel-itus !
Mother bought a huge turkey for Christmas dinner.

‘That must have cost a fortune!’ I said .

‘Actually I got it for a poultry amount,’ she said.
A man went to a butcher’s and saw that the turkeys were 90 cents a pound. He said to the butcher, ‘Do you raise them yourself?’

‘Of course I do,’ the butcher replied. ‘They were only 50 cents a pound this morning!’
How do you tell the difference between tinned turkey and tinned custard?

Look at the labels!
Did you hear about the stupid turkey?

It was looking forward to Christmas!
What’s brown and creeps around the house?

Mince spies!
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

Deep pan, crisp and even!
What did the grape say to the peanut butter?

“quot;’Tis the season to be jelly!"quot;
What do you drain Christmas dinner brussel sprouts with?

An advent colander!
What’s the most common wine at Christmas?

Do I have to have the brussel sprouts!