Questions and Answers about Pregnancy | clean funny jokes | clown ministry | Fathers Day jokes | Marriage Jokes

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Q. Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?
A. Yes, but you’ll have an even better chance if he doesn’t wear anything at all.

Q. My husband and I are very attractive. I’m sure our baby will be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom should I contact about this?
A. Your therapist.

Q. My brother tells me that since my husband has a big nose, and genes for big noses are dominant, my baby will have a big nose as well. Is this true?
A. The odds are greater that your brother will have a fat lip.

Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. Ever since I’ve been pregnant, I haven’t been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
A. Depends on what you’re doing with them.

Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A. Because they think that you make them look thinner. Just remember, you can lose weight after pregnancy, but a jerk will always be a jerk.

Q. Will I love my dog less when the baby is born?
A. No, but your husband might get on your nerves.

Q. I’m modest. Once I’m in the hospital to deliver, who will see me in that delicate position?
A. Authorized personnel only - doctors, nurses, orderlies, photographers, florists, cleaning crews, journalists, etc.

Q. What is colic?
A. A reminder for new parents to use birth control.

Q. What are night terrors?
A. Frightening episodes in which the new mother dreams she’s pregnant again.

(You might want to check out the original Questions and Answers about Pregnancy)