Review of Monkey Business, starring Groucho Marx, Chico Marx, Harpo Marx, Zeppo Marx, Thelma Todd | clown ministry

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DVD Review of Monkey Business, starring Groucho Marx, Chico Marx, Harpo Marx, Zeppo Marx, Thelma Todd

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Groucho, Harpo, Chico and Zeppo are four stowaways on board ship, destined for the United States of America. After being discovered hiding in barrels (and singing "Sweet Adeline"), they are pursued by the ship’s crew, to hilarious effect. Zeppo and Groucho wind up working as bodyguards for one gangster on board, while Chico and Harpo do the same for a rival gangster. After docking, the four "borrow" a passport and impersonate its’ owner, Maurice Chevalier (who doesn’t appear in the film) to gain entrance to the country, by singing one of Chevalier’s songs to "prove" that each of them, including the silent Harpo, is Mr. Chevalier.

The last part of the film involves the brothers at a high society party, giving Groucho an opportunity to insult the guests, Chico and Harpo to play their instruments, and foil a kidnapping and rescue Zeppo’s love interest.

Classic moments include a plethora of one-liners from Groucho, the Chevalier imitation, Harpo intruding on a Punch and Judy skit, Groucho and Harpo invading the Captain’s quarters, Chico and Harpo pretending to be barbers, and virtually all of Groucho’s interactions with Thelma Todd.

Funny movie quotes from the Marx Brothers’ Monkey Business:

Groucho : Afraid? Me? A man who’s licked his weight in wild caterpillars? AFRAID? You bet I’m afraid!
Groucho : Oh, I know it’s a penny here and a penny there, but look at me. I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Groucho : Mrs. Briggs, I’ve known and respected your husband Alky for many years. And what’s good enough for him is good enough for me. (He suddenly grabs her and pulls her down onto a couch.)
Groucho : ...Columbus was sailing along on his vessel…
Chico : On his what?
Groucho : Not on his what, on his vessel. Don’t you know what vessel is?
Chico : Sure, I can vessel ... (starts whistling)

Madame Swempski: I don’t like this innuendo.
Groucho : That’s what I always say. Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo

Thelma Todd : I wanna sing. I wanna dance. I wanna ha-cha-ha.
Groucho : Oh, why can’t we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
Groucho : How about you and I passing out on the veranda, or would you rather pass out here?
Woman at party : Sir, you have the advantage of me.

Groucho : Not yet I haven’t, but wait till I get you outside.
(Describing the stowaways)
Groucho : So do I. If I had my choice I’d go around with a little blonde.
Captain Concoran : I said, one goes around with a black moustache.

Groucho : Well, you couldn’t expect a moustache to go around by itself. Don’t you think a moustache ever gets lonely, Captain?
Chico : Hey, sure it gets-a lonely. Hey, when my grandfather’s beard gets here I’d like it to meet your moustache.
Groucho : Well, I’ll think it over. I’ll talk it over with my moustache. Tell me, has your grandfather’s beard got any money?
Chico : Money? Why, he fell hair to a fortune.

Captain Concoran : Stockholders, huh? Well, you look like a couple of stowaways to me.
Groucho : Well, don’t forget, my fine fellow, that the stockholder of yesteryear is the stowaway of today.
Groucho : Your father and Columbus were partners?
Chico : You bet.

Groucho : Columbus has been dead four hundred years.
Chico : Well, they told me it was my father.
Groucho: I’ll thank you to let me do the reporting around here. Is it true you’re getting a divorce as soon as your husband recovers his eyesight? Is it true you wash your hair in clam broth? Is it true you used to dance in a flea circus?
Gibson, First Mate: I’m sorry to have to report there are four stowaways in the forward hatch.

Captain Corcoran: Stowaways? How do you know there are four of them?
Gibson, First Mate: Well, they were singing Sweet Adeline.
Groucho: If this is the Captain, I’m gonna have a few words with him. My hot water’s been cold for three days. And I haven’t got room enough in here to swing a cat. In fact, I haven’t even got a cat.
Groucho: Are you the floorwalker of this ship? I want to register a complaint.
Captain Corcoran: Why? What’s the matter?

Groucho: Matter enough. You know who sneaked into my stateroom at three o’clock this morning?
Captain Corcoran: Who did that?
Groucho: Nobody, and that’s my complaint.

Captain Corcoran: I want you to know that I’ve been Captain of this ship for 22 years.
Groucho: 22 years, eh? If you were a man, you’d go in business for yourself. I know a fellow started only last year with just a canoe. Now he’s got more women than you could shake a stick at, if that’s your idea of a good time.

Groucho: Oh, engineer? Will you tell them to stop the boat from rocking, I’m going to have lunch.
Groucho: You’re just wasting your breath, and that’s no great loss either.

Thelma Todd : You can’t stay in that closet.
Groucho : [emerging behind her] Oh, I can’t, can I? That’s what they said to Thomas Edison, mighty inventor; Thomas Lindbergh, mighty flier; and Thomas Shefsky, mighty like a rose. Just remember, my little cabbage, that if there weren’t any closets, there wouldn’t be any hooks, and if there weren’t any hooks, there wouldn’t be any fish, and that would suit me fine.

Groucho : I’m going back in the closet, where men… are empty overcoats.
Zeppo : Everybody seems to be having nearly as much fun as I am.
Groucho : If you look at it, it’s a barn. If you smell it, it’s a stable.

Thelma Todd : But from the time he got the marriage license, I’ve lead a dog’s life.
Groucho : Are you sure he didn’t get a dog’s license?<
Chico : Well, it’s better to have lost in love than never to have lost at all.
Groucho : Good work.
Groucho : Nice old piece of melodrama, kidnapping a girl. You’ve been reading too many dime novels.

Groucho (in a barn): Where’s all those farmer’s daughters I’ve been hearing about for years?
Groucho : I know, heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns.
Groucho : With a little study you’ll go a long ways, and I wish you’d start now.
Groucho : You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I’m hot under the collar.

Gibson, First Mate: Who are you?
Groucho: I’m the tailor.
Gibson, First Mate: Oh, that reminds me, where are my pants?
Groucho: You’ve got ‘em on.
Groucho : Sir, are you trying to offer me a bribe? How much?"

Groucho : Madam, before I get through with you, you will have a clear case for divorce, and so will my wife.

Alky Briggs: Okay, he’s in there. When he comes out, plug him.
Zeppo: What do we plug him with?
Alky Briggs: [referring to guns] Didn’t I give you two "gats"?

Groucho: We had to drown the "gats", but we saved you a little black "gitten".
Chico: Mustard’s no good without roast beef.
Manicurist: Do you want your nails trimmed long?
Chico: Oh, about an hour and a half. I got nothin’ to do.

Groucho: Oh no, you’re not gonna get me off this bed.
Thelma Todd: I didn’t know you were a lawyer. You’re awfully shy for a lawyer.
Groucho: You bet I’m shy. I’m a shyster lawyer.

Trivia about the Marx Brothers’ movie Monkey Business:

Cameo appearance by Sam Marx, the father of the Marx Brothers – sitting on the crates behind them after they’re carried off the ship.
The first Marx Brothers film written especially for the screen.
The first Marx Brothers film not to feature Margaret Dumont. It was felt she was not "sexy" enough for the part.
Except in the credits, the Brothers’ characters have no names in this movie. They are referred to only as "the stowaways".

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