You are here: Doctor jokes >Signs that you’ve joined a cheap HMO

  • Pedal-powered dialysis machines.
  • Use of antibiotics deemed an “unauthorized experimental procedure.”
  • Head-wound victim in the waiting room is on the last chapter of “War and Peace”
  • Exam room has a tip jar.
  • You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in.
  • “Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?”
  • Take two leeches and call me in the morning.”
  • The company logo features a hand squeezing a bleeding turnip.
  • Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.
  • Covered post-natal care consists of leaving your baby on Mia Farrow’s doorstep.
  • “Pre-natal vitamin” prescription is a box of Tic-Tacs.

  • Chief Surgeon graduated from University of Benihana.
  • Directions to your doctor’s office include, “take a left when you enter the trailer park.”
  • Doctor listens to your heart through a paper towel tube.
  • Only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is “ an apple a day.”
  • Only participating Physicians are Dr. FIne, Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine.
  • Only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter.
  • Recycled bandages
  • You can get your flu shot as soon as "the" hypodermic needle is dry.
  • Your “primary care physician” is wearing the pants you gave to goodwill last month.
  • 24-hour claims line is 1-800-TUF-LUCK
  • Costly MRI equipment efficiently replaced by an oversized 2-sided copier.

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    Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 02/17 at 11:15 AM
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