Abbott and Costello’s Loan Me 50 Dollars routine
One of the classic Abbott and Costello routines, as Bud Abbott demonstrates his willingness to fleece his buddy Lou Costello, when needed. Done many times, both in the movies and their radio show.
Bud Abbott: Do me a favor, loan me $50.
Lou Costello: Bud, I can’t. I can’t loan you $50.
Bud Abbott: Oh, yes, ya can.
Lou Costello: No, I can’t. All I got is $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, give me the $40 and you’ll owe me 10
Lou Costello: Ok, I’ll owe you 10.
Bud Abbott: That’s right.
Lou Costello: How come I owe you 10?
Bud Abbott: How much did I ask for?
Lou Costello: 50
Bud Abbott: How much did you give me?
Lou Costello: 40.
Bud Abbott: So you owe me $10.
Lou Costello: That’s right. (Pause) But you owe me 40.
Bud Abbott: Don’t change the subject.
Lou Costello: I’m not changing the subject; you’re trying to change my finances. Come on, Abbott give me my $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, there’s your $40, now give me the 10 you owe me.
Lou Costello: I’m paying you on account.
Bud Abbott: On account?
Lou Costello: On account I don’t know how I owe it to ya.
Bud Abbott: That’s the way you feel about it, that’s the last time I ask you for a loan of $50.
Lou Costello: But how can I loan ya $50, now. All I got is 30.
Bud Abbott: Well, give me the 30 and you’ll owe me 20.
Lou Costello: Ok. This is getting worse all the time. (Look at audience) First I owe him 10, now I owe him 20.
Bud Abbott: Well, why do you run yourself into debt?
Lou Costello: I’m not running in, you’re pushing me!1
Bud Abbott: I can’t help it if you can’t handle your finances. I do all right with my money.
Lou Costello: And you do all right with my money too.
Bud Abbott: Now I asked you for a loan of $50. You gave me 30, so you owe me 20. 20 and 30 is 50.
Lou Costello: No. No. No. 25 and 25 is 50.
Bud Abbott: All right, here’s your $30, now give me the 20 you owe me. Fine guy, won’t loan a pal $50.
Lou Costello: How can I loan you 50, all I got now is 10?
Bud Abbott: Wait a minute, to show you that I’m your pal, want to double that?
Lou Costello: Go ahead (Give Abbott 10 bill) See ya later.
Bud Abbott: Wait a minute. I don’t want that kind of money. On the up and up.
Bud Abbott: Pick a number between 1 and 10.
Lou Costello: ok
Bud Abbott: Is it even or odd?
Lou Costello: Even
Bud Abbott: Is the number between 1 and 3?
Lou Costello: No
Bud Abbott: Between 3 and 5?
Lou Costello: No. I think I got him.
Bud Abbott: Between 5 and 7!
Lou Costello: Yes
Bud Abbott: Number 6
Lou Costello: Right!...How’d he do that? (Pause) Hey…
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