Crime on Their Hands - the Three Stooges
Diamonds may be a girl's best friend, but they're not Shemp's. When he mistakes the Punjab Diamond for a breath mint, Shemp faces the end of an unsterilized knife in the hands of Dapper Dan, who stole the diamond and wants it back ˆ and he's not waiting until it passes naturally. Add a gorilla, and it's a classic Three Stooges short film!
movie review of Crime on their Hands starring the Three Stooges (Moe, Larry, Shemp)—originally released December 9, 1948
In Crime on their Hands, the Three Stooges are janitors at a newspaper office—who desire to be reporters. They have their chance, when the big story of the day is the theft of the Punjab Diamond by Dapper Malone (played by Three Stooges regular Kenneth McDonald), his moll (Three Stooges regular Christine McIntyre) and ‘Runty’ who gets angry at Dapper, and decides to get even by calling the newspaper office and snitching on Dapper. The Stooges are there to take the call, and get their big break—while Runty ‘gets’ his, courtesy of Dapper’s gun.
Moe, Larry and Shemp begin snooping around at the place where Dapper’s hiding, and soon they’re questioning Christine McIntyre, who wrongly assumes that they’re the police. While talking with her, Shemp begins tossing candies from a bowl into the air and swallowing them—unknown to him, the missing diamond is in the bowl, and he unintentionally swallow it. Once the Stooges reveal that they’re not police, Dapper and another confederate come out of hiding, and decide to perform and impromptu surgery on Shemp to retrieve the diamond. Moe and Larry attempt to retrieve the diamond in a non-fatal way (well, non-fatal for them, anyway—using an ice tong down poor Shemp’s throat), but they fail. Dapper tosses them into a closet, and ties Shemp down as he prepares for the ‘surgery’.
Moe and Larry decide to not give up without a fight, however, and using a bag of tools they conveniently find in the closet, they try to cut their way out the back wall of the closet, into the next room where they can call for help! Unfortunately, there are two things in the way of this plan—one is the fact that Moe and Larry get more in the way than out of the closet, and the other is that there’s a gorilla in a cage on the other side of the wall! Larry goes though the opening first, and the gorilla beats him up worse than Moe typically does—and Moe gets his just desserts next. The gorilla then goes through the hole, subdues the bad guys, and releases his ‘buddy’ Shemp. I love the ending—’Well, I helped.‘ It’s a very funny short film, one of the best of the Shemp era, and highly recommended.
Crime on their Hands is available on Shemp: Moe, Stop the presses.
Moe: You didn’t see that movie too did ya?
Larry: No, I’ll take orders chief.
Moe: Good. (slaps Larry) That was for absolutely nothin’.
Shemp: (answering phone) Hello? Yes! Yes! YES! No! No.” [click]
Moe: What was it?
Shemp: Wrong number.
Shemp: A hundred carots? He sure knew his onions! Hee, hee, hee, hee!
Moe: Quiet!
Larry: (upon finding Dapper’s cigar case) Evidence! Let’s weight it!
Shemp: Let’s smoke it!
Bea (Chistine McIntyre): any half-wit can see I’m innocent.
Shemp: yeah, I can see you’re innocent.
Shemp: (tossing candy into the air and swallowing it) With oranges, it’s much harder.
Moe: What happened?
Shemp: She fainted.
Moe: She must have got a good look at your puss.
Moe: It must be caught on something.
Larry: Maybe it’s his appendix.
Moe: We’ll soon find out!
Larry: We’re trapped like rats!
Moe: Speak for yourself!
Shemp: Cut it out! Cut it out!
Dapper: That’s just what we’re planning.
Shemp: 50 carats! What an icecube!
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