Clown Ministry

Insurance Reports

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where drivers attempted to summarize the details of their accidents.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have.
The other car collided with me without giving warning of its intentions.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed for the embankment.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front of me, I hit a pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
I told the police I was not injured, but removing my cap I found I had a fractured skull.
The pedestrian had no idea in which direction to run, so I ran over him.
The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.
I saw a slow-moving sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I hit him.
The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave out causing the accident.
I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had the accident.

Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 11/21 at 12:17 AM

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