funny movie quotes from the Marx Brothers’ At The Circus | clown ministry

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Antonio Pirelli (Chico Marx): You know what I say. Whenever you got business trouble the best thing to do is to get a lawyer. Then you got more trouble, but at least you got a lawyer.

Peerless Pauline (Eve Arden): I’ve waited so long to find someone like you.

J. Cheever Loophole (Groucho Marx): Oh, someone like me, I’m not good enough for you, eh?

Peerless Pauline (Eve Arden): (trying to coax Groucho into being a human fly) But it’s so easy. The bottom of your shoe creates a suction that holds you up in the ceiling.

J. Cheever Loophole (Groucho Marx): No, no, I’d rather not. I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don’t practice law and I don’t walk on the ceiling.

J. Cheever Loophole (Groucho Marx): I bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork.

J. Cheever Loophole (Groucho Marx): I don’t know what I’m doing here, when I could be at home in bed with a hot toddy. That’s a drink!

Antonio Pirelli (Chico): If you please, Mistah Carter?

John Carter: What do you want?

Antonio Pirelli (Chico): Can I have a month off next August?

John Carter: What for?

Antonio Pirelli (Chico): Well, you see, my lawyer, he got-a me a divorce, and one month every year I win the custody of my wife’s parents.

Mrs. Suzannah Dukesbury (Margaret Dumont): (referring to the seating arrangements at an upcoming dinner) … the judge shall sit on my left hand, and you (turning to Groucho) shall sit on my right.

J. Cheever Loophole (Groucho Marx): How will you eat? Through a tube?

Peerless Pauline (Eve Arden): Perhaps you’ll think I’m forward, but last night, when I first saw you,

J. Cheever Loophole (Groucho Marx):And slammed the door in my face.

Peerless Pauline (Eve Arden): I realized that you were the man I’ve been dreaming of.

J. Cheever Loophole (Groucho Marx): What do you eat before going to bed?