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Funny Jokes - How to diet and gain weight
BREAKFAST:
- 1/2 grapefruit
- 1 slice whole wheat toast
- 8 oz skim milk
LUNCH:
- 4 oz lean Broiled chicken breast
- 1 cup steamed zucchini
- 1 Oreo Cookie
- Herb tea
MID-AFTERNOON SNACK:
- Rest of package of Oreos
- 1 qt. rocky road ice cream
- 1 jar hot fudge
DINNER:
- 2 loaves garlic bread
- Large pepperoni & mushroom pizza Large pitcher caffienated soda (any brand)
- 3 Milky Way bars
- Entire Sara Lee cheesecake - direct from freezer.
DIET TIPS
- If no one sees you eat it --- it has no calories.
- If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar they cancel each other out.
- When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount.
- Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts such as: Hot Chocolate, Brandy, Toast and Sarah Lee cheesecake.
- If YOU fatten up EVERYONE ELSE around you--then YOU look thinner.
- Movie related foods don't count because they are simply part of the entire entertainment experience and not part of one's personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, popcorn with extra butter, and Junior Mints.
Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/12 at 06:39 PM
Articles • Jokes • Dieting jokes • (0) Comments - what's your opinion?• (0) Trackbacks • Permalink
Articles • Jokes • Dieting jokes • (0) Comments - what's your opinion?• (0) Trackbacks • Permalink
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